After a heavy night of drinking one weekend in high school I was spending the night at my friend’s house. The place wasn’t the cleanest, because, high schoolers. There was a bird that was kept in the bedroom and birds are pretty messy and throw food all over the place when they eat. There were clothes all over the floor so you couldn’t see the floor at all. When we walked in the room, the floor moved.

They left a blacklight on as a nightlight, turned on Ginuwine “My Pony” on loop and passed the fuck out. The room was kinda spinning from the amount that I had drank so if I closed my eyes I would get the spins. As I was looking up at the ceiling debating my life choices I saw something crawl across the wall. It.was.fucking.roaches.

I sat up in a bit of a panic and really started looking around the room and saw that roaches were crawling up the walls, over the bed and pillow, and my friend that was sleeping. I spent the night cross legged in an office chair with a can of roach spray that was in the corner of the room spraying a puddle of it around the chair as a barrier.

Found out later that because of them feeding the cats and just leaving wet cat food cans out around the house, sewer roaches would crawl up the bathtub drain in the middle of the night and pour out around the house.

Needless to say, my house is fucking CLEAN. And I might have slight ptsd with that fucking song and the feel of a bug crawling on me.