I’m 24 and dealing with high blood pressure. I’ve seen five doctors, had countless tests, and they all say the same thing: “Take these pills and try to reduce pressure in your life.” It’s as though my blood pressure and heart rate have minds of their own, fluctuating freely without any reason.

For the past six months, I’ve felt like I’m on borrowed time. Every morning, I gulp down my pills, hoping I won’t have a stroke or end up disabled. Once, I dared to think I was better and skipped my meds for two days. Unfortunately, on day three, my blood pressure shot up over 150, bringing me crashing back to reality.

I’m not an nihilist, I’m the opposite of that. But facing my own mortality every second of life has hit me hard. Maybe I’m just like a “24 years old kid” tasting life’s bitterness for the first time. I hate to compare myself with others, but seeing friends partying, doing drugs, and sipping coffee just makes me hate this fate of mine even more.

I’m an artist, I studied music and wrote lots of songs (only keep them for myself, not trying to be a celebrity or anything like that…), and music has always been my escape. Lately, though, my songs have been pretty dark.

I’m sharing my story not for sympathy, but to connect with anyone else who’s going through a same journey in their life. If you’ve been there and made it out, please tell me how you did it. Any advice, hobby, or habit would help! And if you’re still stuck in the trenches like me, just know you’re not alone.

P/S: This post has been improved by ChatGPT since I’m not confident in my English.

  • FunkyMonk@kbin.social
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    6 months ago

    It sucks dude, I got a thing with my stomach after being nervous and having a weird/high heartrate my whole life. Wish I had some better advice but sometimes there are still good days. Art helps, It helps me even more when I channel my more sinister thinking into it and sometimes it’s a shitty place to go. Have to feel out my moods carefully and it sucks. Ranting about it sometimes like this helps too, don’t be shy to do it more either. Don’t ever fall into the trap of ‘others have it worse’ it’s ok to be mad at things sucking in your own life, I think anyway. It’s also good to focus on those few things that make it not suck for a little or suck less, thats how I get by.

    • Maeve@kbin.social
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      6 months ago

      Gratitude is an amazing drug, but it must be used on schedule, for a while, before results are felt.