z500

I once got passed by two speeding DeLoreans. I ended up catching up to them when we all hit a traffic jam.

If it makes you feel any better that horse wasn’t the one that killed him

Monkey’s paw: your teeth would also be as sensitive as the head of a penis

I’m already 2 years older than Mozart was when he died, the fuck am I even doing with my life

But I can still keep the dinosaur, right?

Gussy

Damn dude, save some pussy for the rest of us

I can’t wait to hear about the GNU Is Not UNIX Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of

“You guys are still staffing window 1?”

Thank

I’m sorry your ice cream doesn’t have any sugar in it

Nice, very trochaic

If your girl wears a pickelhaube and united the German states, that’s not your girl

12/10

You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like

Yeah I’m on the edge of my seat here. I demand a refund.

I like to do force lightning from my fingertips

Normalize constructing an ominous orb completely out of obsidian and placing it in the San Francisco Bay.

Harambe’s death was the nexus connecting all timelines

I remember I used to be subscribed to a mailing list for a programming language. A friend of the lead developer set the mailing list up for them at his university, and then went off and did his own thing. It was completely unmoderated. Some kid sent a “neat little proggy” his friend Dieter wrote. If the extent of my Internet usage wasn’t limited to free email through Juno, my entire hard drive probably would have gotten deleted that day lol

And go out in the middle of the night before and leave piles of clothes all over town