trouser_mouse

“But -”

Doot

This has been kicking around for so long, I wonder where it originally came from!

I did this too, everything had feet by the time I finished. Everything.

Wow what’s wrong with people! Haha

I tried that line once, but the pizza restaurant still kicked me out

Have you had any yet

I’ll give you 15 English pennies

I hear the real 1.7% was his nipples any truth to that

The true value of the internet

opens PMs

…

closes PMs

Academy Award nominated character actress Margot Robbie! Omg. (Sometimes I get mistaken for you.) Is it true that when you were filming The Legend of Tarzan, Alexander Skarsgård’s chest was 98% computer effects?

It feels just right, also I have used it for a long time and I can’t be bothered to think up a new one as I need my brain for other things

Hmmmmmm

I suspect multiple countries probably have socks, and wank into them even though they also have access to tissues. I bet there is funding available to study this and someone should (after they wash their hands).

If read out loud at the correct speed with adequate wailing it should easily cover more than 30 minutes!

This is amazing

An ode to a crusty wank sock I found behind my bed

Oh crusty wank sock

You were my favourite

For one night

You were trusted

With my most intimate part

As well as being relied upon to clean everything up quite well

Now you are so far away

We may never see each other again

But if we do

You will be pumped full of my angry jizz like a one-fingered glove filled with porridge

Amen

(Sometimes I get mistaken for you.)

Academy Award nominated character actress @MargotRobbie@lemmy.world!

Dickbutt but made of beans