This needs to be the plot of a new “The Wizard” remake.

I’ve used one of those before at an airport and it worked exactly as you say. I think it was just for boarding though. I just walked forward and when I got to the front, they greeted me by name and I got on the plane. I don’t remember having to show my passport or boarding pass that time either (but it was last year so I may have forgotten).

Captain Beefheart. I get his performance was part of an act, but if you don’t take it all as a joke the music is pretty terrible to listen to. As a joke though it’s hilarious.

Give me a pack of Red Vines and a large popcorn with a blueberry ICEE please.