At the tail end of a massive maintenance shutdown (16 hr days for everyone, for 2 weeks) the mill leadership started a site-wide meeting with pictures and stories of their recent trip to Japan. How they went golfing, the great meals they had, their trip to the mountain, etc. They finally wrapped that up and proceeded to tell us that cost of living raises were going to be small that year due to them being “unsure about next year’s profit margins”.

There was a pretty steady wave of resignation letters for the 6 months following that meeting.

Don’t limit yourself, hoses are also great for spraying unruly children and innocent passersby!

Yes, though I did end up as ELT. I left it out for clarity above.

I got called by a military recruiter right before I graduated high school. I had nothing better to do so I signed up to take the entrance exam. After a music festival and somewhat still drunk I took it and actually did very well. The recruiter told me I should go into the nuclear field. I said “ok”. Then they split us up into our rates and I became a mechanic after learning they spend the least amount of time sitting still (that was my only criteria). I thought the work was interesting and the nuclear power plant was fascinating to me, so I went to university after my stint was up and became a mechanical engineer. Now my specialty is project management in a manufacturing plant. I get to run around and climb on things and nerd out whenever I want and I love it.

Bring back nudity.

Food. Jfc does America love food. Celebration? Throw a bbq. Mourning? Better bring a casserole. Meeting? Where’s the donuts? Wealth is synonymous with healthy food: fresh fruit, smoothies, and whatever hot new protein food strikes your fancy. What do you eat? How do you carry it? How do you drink it? How do you mix it? How do you cook it? It’s fucking absurd.

Finally, success.

I give my brain alternative stimulus that doesn’t require a phone or eye movement. Also known as: daydreaming. I think about what I want my future garden to look like, how I’m going to work through my next building project, or anything that I can neutrally think about until my body can relax enough to pass out. It can’t be anything that elicits strong emotions or I’ll get all riled up and toss and turn forever.