This is 90% what I expected a kiwi to sound like.

Probably seeing what amount of pain each asshole driver can suffer before they die. Hope you’re at least a 9, OP!

A looooooot of porn.

I second this, OP. I have a sebo, I’m very happy with it.

while you apparently can transform from human corpse to a drake

Did you just assume my species?

First - pretty movie vampires were pretty humans before they got vampired. Second - why in the fuck would a necromancer raise a vampire with free will? Face it ‘pretty’ boy, you’ll be stuck in a cave trying to kill adventurers who never visit. You’ll be talking to rats after the first month of solitude. You’ll lose your undeath virginity to a lost mountain goat. The first time a girl will be around your cave, she’ll notice how it smells like a homeless man who hasn’t changed his underwear in years and avoid the cave entirely. You’ll feel like spiking yourself in the heart because you had gotten used to the smell, but you won’t even be able to do that - you’re a necromancer’s minion. You have no choice in how you live or die. You’re just a smelly guardian of an uninteresting cave.

I’ll take undead drake. I’m doing some epic shit before I die, not just guarding some cave.

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I lack reading comprehension up to the point where I may be illiterate: it took me one fucking day to understand your message. You don’t want this. Hell, I don’t even want this, but I’m stuck with myself. Get out while you still can.

O hey. Idk if my first message didn’t show the right nuance of red on the flag, or maybe it didn’t completely send the “turn back now, I’m literally brain dead” idea. So anyway, here’s a second message.

I just send the butler to roam the streets looking for some orphans who would like to blow-dry me.

If your kids ain’t neutered you better be home schooling them cause if I catch them in school tryna fuck my kids they’re not gonna live to see the pound.

Thorbot’s shit hole has expanded to 10x its previous size in the past year, thanks to increased usage by members of the public.

5 years ago

old

Now listen here you little shit

International waters music or gtfo

Gotta suck being a teacher for this class when you just know Jorch is gonna end up framed by Tom Riddle for opening the chamber of secrets.

Americans are out here needing 100 degrees of magnitude between “it’s really cold outside” and “it’s really hot outside” while ignoring the scientific uses of anything outside of those values and you expect them to understand decimals?

How many “it’s really hot outside” until iron melts, or water boils, or meat cooks? Fuck knows. But I’ll be damned if I use punctuation in my maths, this country was founded on addition and subtraction and that’s all the founding fathers ever needed, now gtfo with your letters and periods and symbols in my mathematics.

I have shat upon better people for lesser crimes.

I’ll take the uranium. It doesn’t matter what I blow up with it, the butterfly effect will mean the rest of the world is changed forever. Because fuck you, you should’ve asked before sending people to the medieval era.

Yes but how

If you can’t afford to live on 2.35 an hour, don’t work for 2.35 an hour. Asshole.