Everyone on lemmy is a bot except you.

Plex supports native auto deletion, just like you are asking for. For Jellyfin there’s a plug-in: https://github.com/terrelsa13/MUMC

Plus for some odd reason the layout on my shieldTV is an absolute disaster for some reason

That’s because Jellyfin’s clients are still mostly terrible. Jellyfin is the more flexible media server, Plex has the far, far better clients.

Yeah, Lemmy excels at both those things.

I hopped instances a couple of times (and it’s a little annoying that there is no simple way to migrate subscriptions), but so far I’m happy with sh.itjust.works because that’s what it does. I also feel like it defederelizes less aggressively than other instances, with some I was almost surprised by all the content that I couldn’t access.