I disagree. Violence is not the answer, and especially not against people that are living in a way that doesn’t hurt others. If a couple (or polycule) wants to be sexually exclusive, they have the right to do so, and they do not hurt others because it’s not a social imposition for everyone.

Edit: I mean, I understand questioning why we choose it, “deconstructing”, as we now call it, but after that, I think it’s an intimate matter.

It depends. Some relationships are open to pornography, others aren’t. Some are open to sexual intercourse outside their people, but others aren’t. It’s about consent and agreeing to live in a way that all needs are met.

That’s why I said it’s hard to know who is betraying their partner and who isn’t, because maybe a man or woman or whoever following an erotic/pornographic content creator is not outside what their partner(s) expect, or maybe they are.

Anyway, I do not like people breaking their “contracts” instead of talking them out.

If I were to do that, I’d probably do it for the money. I would get unfaithful followers (hard to pinpoint who because open relationships and other types of relationships exist, but statistically, there would be), and that wouldn’t make it any less uncomfortable. I personally hate unfaithful/dishonest partners.

I can think of two scenarios. The first one is you do that and everyone, including you, feels it and perceives it in a good way. Which I guess could end up in weird situations. Geeky example, but do you know Magic the Gathering? There’s a faction there called “The Rakdos Cult” with a demon and a lot of deranged characters that simply enjoy the bad things. The Rakdos cards often portray a little gorey scenes with people enjoying it, so I guess we could become kind of that but without victims, only enjoyers.

But the other scenario is that we wouldn’t have a need to prove or try such things because we often do it out of negative feelings such as emptiness, pride, competitiveness, etc. We wouldn’t feel those things so we wouldn’t behave as erratically as we do now.

That if we exist at all, though… Maybe existence as we know it is incompatible with my first comment.

No suffering, no dis-pleasurable state, no undesirable reality exists. Everything that is, is deemed good by all beings that can judge it (if any). This has, as a consequence, no moral dilemmas, no conflict of wills and interests, no tragedies, etc.

Isn’t FlyingSquid a she?

I don’t remember the scene, but the caption and something about it makes it feel like decisiveness, maybe frustration finally made into a plan.

Less. I think movements against pornography have great points, so I rarely consume erotic or pornographic content now.

I’m not from the U.S.

It’s hard to admit, but I’m not healthy in that regard. I postpone the break-up so that time gives an opportunity to fix things, and when that fails I jump into another relationship right away, and not in a “using people to distract me from my pain” way but in a “falling in love with people who show me empathy and care, and who I imagine are a good fit without giving enough time to consider it thoroughly” way. Currently in the first step, waiting, wishing.

I have no advice. I can only say I am sorry you are grieving.

Edit: Grammar.

That’s an interesting idea. Thank you!

Nicotine, caffeine, alcohol, methylphenidate.

Nicotine once. Friends at the time said I needed to try it to say for a fact I didn’t like it, and I didn’t like it. Then I learnt there are extremely rare cases of illnesses from just one smoke, so that advice was stupid, IMO.

Caffeine was a regular as I was self-medicating with it. Nowadays, I drink mostly decaffeinated. I wish there were more flavors and variety for it, though, at least a chocolate one…

Alcohol has always been an occasional thing for me, once or twice per year. I try to keep it that way because my family has a long history of substance abuse disorder.

Methylphenidate once. I borrowed it from someone’s prescription. I thought it would help me get energetic, euphoric, etc. Well, it was calming, and for the first time in my life my mind was quiet. It was so strange to be sitting with no turmoil, no direction of what to jump to do or even say spontaneously. It was just me and the silent room. Tranquility, so much that it was uncomfortable as it was new and not what I expected at all. Turns out I have hyperactivity and the medication turned it down.

If I were to say, I prefer uppers and I’m curious about substances like cocaine, but I don’t want to risk my health. I’m fine.

OCEAN is useful.

For fun but also interesting because it is a piece of history? The four temperaments (Hippocrates).

The suicide rates have become one of the most popular arguments, which is a shame because it is incomplete. More men complete the suicidal act, but more women attempt it (apparently, they just own less guns, less substances in the garage, etc.). In other words—because I explain like sh*t in English: women are more suicidal, but less lethal in their attempts.

Both sexes, and intersex people, suffer a lot. The various genders suffer a lot.

I know influencers that talk about this problem without being Andrew Tate, but when I recommend them, I get downvoted as if they were worth nothing. I disagree. Of course, it is not a solution because life is always hard and confusing, but to listen to leftist men who understand feminism and other current social movements, and speak of the role of masculinity today considering those is very refreshing and it definitely helps and it is a step forward.

In a nutshell, they talk about caring about mental health. Many of them already are through their own journeys via psychotherapy or other means of introspection and emotional awareness. They talk about feelings and beliefs within the people that were told that they need to be a cartoon, an action figure, because vulnerability is for the lesser sex and a real man™ despises those things. They talk about healing, understanding, cooperation, etc. I don’t know if you’re a leftist, but that’s behind other concepts such as anarchy or social welfare. It is nice to see the line of thought from healing the personal to healing the communal, and viceversa.

So… yeah, ostracism is not the solution. It’s funny because I’ve suffered from agoraphobia and things like that in other moments of my life, and I understand the dysphoric feeling brought by just thinking about society. I have rejected society time and time again, but we are social creatures and we need each other.
I need you because writing this comment is something that I feel I have to do. You’re giving me some minutes of purpose and even hope that I can make you feel less alone in this world. We both need the person that is making Lemmy possible, and our instances, and many other people on that chain. We like having friends and romantic relationships and random interactions on social media. We like going to events and activities in our towns or cities.

As I see it, If society is not ‘rejectable’ without hurting ourselves and others, the next thing to do would be to interact healthily with our fellow human beings. It is an available journey, there are people willing to help in each step, but you need to trust and trust is hard as f*ck.

I’ve heard the argument based not on structural power but average physical capabilities and biological structures. [I’m going to use the terms meaning sex and not gender]. The man is most likely the person that can gain control during the act, and he doesn’t risk being in pain as much as the woman. Therefore, the man holds more power and is more of a threat on average.

This is also technically true, and I don’t think it is about consent but freedom. [I’ll keep using the words for sex and not gender]. Sexuality becomes another form in which women can become subjugated, so it’s a matter of precaution, I guess (especially since men are being socialized to be entitled or even violent, which is the other part of the picture).

I’ve also heard the extreme version of this argument saying that penetration is what I just described, always, without exception.

In both cases and in yours and in others, I don’t think the meme is correct because the reasons are very different from puritanism.

I guess I only obscure little details here and there. I don’t say I like chocolate ice cream, I say I like “certain desserts”. If I were to spill all the details, I would be super recognizable.

If I were to create content, my reasons to choose the Fediverse over other social platforms would remain the same. I believe in this project! I think it is important to have free spaces, people’s spaces.

I’d add a Patreon link (or an alternative to Patreon) for donations. That’s it. Some money to compensate for the effort is okay, I don’t need and I wouldn’t aspire to get super rich from my content.

Those ideas get you banned, not downvoted.

Don’t you know? They rewrote history and geography so they get to be the only Americans, while the continent is divided into North and South. Forget all the maps, documents, letters, and stuff that referred to the New Word as “America” for centuries. Forget about the first national documents in countries like Mexico referring to themselves as Americans. Nope. They get to steal the name because #power.

So now it’s time to read the “but ‘United Mexican States’ is Mexico, so ‘United States of America’ deserves to be America”, ignoring the fact that Mexico derives from the native name of a portion of Mexico City, so it’s not remotely the same (see first paragraph).

This comment answers the AskLemmy about things that annoy me…

I was going to comment the same! When I heard it was “deep”, I thought it meant “pretentious”. But no, there is a character that has deep quotes mostly inspired by a real life author, and other characters that are diverse. I could criticize details here or there, but it is an incredible show (ed.: that season).