Guns N Roses. It amazes me that there are people who listen to them in purpose. I can’t stand them. But 90% of it is just because of Axl Rose. Slash is a great guitarist, and it’s a shame he’s drowned out by the sounds of a clown punching a cat.

Oh I’ll be “Stayin’ alive,” alright.

When I was a kid, my parents were thinking about building a house. The name of the contractor who was helping them was named “Kari A Hammer.” I might be spelling it wrong (I was eight), but that was his actual name.

I like to think he wanted to be a tattoo artist or something and hated carpentry, but was forced into it because of his name.

I had this same experience on a second date with someone I met on Tinder. Seemed like a real fucking quick way to get myself locked up.