😆

I can tell if you’re Catholic or Protestant by the way you pronounce the letter H.

This is why I keep my front door key in my foreskin. Either I evade the pickpocket, or I make a new friend. I cannot lose.

As a younger man, I was able to unlock the door hands-free. These days, I need to fish the key out of my floppy beige KKK hood like a sock trapped in a duvet cover on laundry day.

You just use two forks, with the prongs on one fork filling in the slots of the other. They call this practice ‘spooking’.

Your kid’s first musical instrument. It’s counterproductive and false economy to buy them a piece of shit guitar or tuba or whatever it may be, in the belief that “if they like it and want to continue with it, I’ll buy them a better one in the future”. You might well turn the kid off the instrument for life if their instrument is harder to play/maintain and worse to listen to than it ought to be.

If you want your kid to be enriched by music and to be creative, buy them a decent mid-range instrument. Make it so that the kid can’t wait to pick it up, don’t make those crucial early days of learning the instrument feel like eating watery gruel for months with an expectation of pizza at some point down the line. A shitty instrument will be an additional barrier the kid will need to deal with every time they use it. Get out of their way, buy them something serviceable. If they lose interest regardless, well at least you know they had a fair shot at it and it wasn’t the crappiness of the instrument that caused them to abandon it. And you can always sell or donate the instrument if they really don’t give a shit about it.

The best instrument you can reasonably afford is significantly more likely to hook your kid than a £50 piece of junk would. It doesn’t need to be fancy, it just needs to be well-made, pleasant to play, and easy to tune/maintain/clean/whatever the case may be.

The use of apostrophe’s to denote plural’s need’s to stop. I will dispatch a syphilitic spidermonkey to fuck your face in your sleep if you do that shit when talking to me.

It looks indistinguishable from every other tech site.

Blowing off steam.

Lovely, warm, childhood trauma steam.

I was denied a mathematics education, for real. I can’t even do long division, nevermind that squiggly F shit. I thought that stuff was only for astrophysicists.

I want to learn basic maths, but I’m in a ‘learned helplessness’ mindset where I can’t even get through basic sums and equations intended for children (I’m old as fuck now).

I was diagnosed with autism a few years back, which kinda made no sense. I would have expected rainman powers, but numbers just don’t jive with my cunt of a brain. Maths is as inscrutable to me as people’s faces or social cues.

Removed by mod

This is the perfect time to recommend the funniest series of games I’ve ever played:

• Four Last Things
• The Procession to Calvary
• Death of the Reprobate (not out yet, but the demo confirms that it is going to be most excellent)

The scene in the OP appears in The Procession to Calvary.