Kaiju whisperer. Galactic backpacker. My other ride is a TARDIS.

  • 0 Posts
  • 6 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: July 21st, 2023

help-circle


  • I went on a tour of Malaysia with a cheap Chinese tour company once. Food in Malaysia is AMAZING but you wouldn’t know it from this tour.

    They’d take us to these warehouse-like empty restaurants on the edges of towns and would serve us the worst Chinese food I ever had by a mile. I love Chinese food, but this was just soul-crushingly bad. And because we were basically stuck with staying close to the bus, we had no choice but to eat there.

    Two dishes stand out in my mind. One was stir-fried lettuce that had so many block spots it looked like a pointillist work. The other was a mapo tofu that looked so awful, I couldn’t help thinking the chef had broken it up by chewing it and blowing it out of his nose.





  • As a kid, a bunch of friends and I smashed glass bottles for fun while barefoot. I have no idea what the hell we were thinking, but predicably I cut my big toe pretty bad.

    I then walked around for a while, with everyone telling me I had a bleeding gash in my toe. I didn’t believe them and wouldn’t even look. It took my mom telling me for me to finally look down, and when I did I nearly passed out from the sight of my own idiocy pouring out of me.

    Not my smartest moment, for damn sure.